In defence of having no plans

In defence of having no plans
peonies from aldi


It sounds like a stupid thing to ‘defend’ but being eternally busy, living your best damn life 24 hours a day and documenting the entirety on Instagram stories is like the millennial generation’s badge of honour. If you’re not chasing your dreams, doing something creative alongside your 9-5, documenting the planning stages of your next big trip on Twitter or getting your side hustle on, it seems like you’re falling behind as that is what everyone else is doing. Or so social media would have you believe anyway.

As a generation, we’re taking the term ‘keeping up with the Jones’ to a whole other level. Our parents had to contend with someone down the street doing one better, we have literally everyone we have ever met, probably some of their mates and then the entirety of celebville to compare ourselves too. We really shot ourselves in the foot with that one, didn’t we?

When you’re flicking between Tinder and Instagram stories on a Sunday evening whilst watching whichever rotation of films that ITV2 is sending your way (usually Bride Wars, 27 Dresses or Bridesmaids, to add insult to the injury as you swipe), it’s easy to forget that everyone is uploading a best bits montage. And that as you go from one person to the next, you’re seeing all these exciting plans which might make you feel a little bit bad about how the only time you put a bra on that weekend was to go to the supermarket and even then, it felt like an effort. What we don’t see is the people who, like us, didn’t do much as there wasn’t anything exciting enough to share. What we’re consuming on social isn’t an accurate representation of the majority and whilst we know this, we don’t always remember it when you’re feeling a little glum as the Sunday blues kick in.

So this is your PSA that not everyone is going all YOLO from the moment they leave work on a Friday and you know what, having a weekend with literally no plans (I’m talking zero commitments), is an excellent way to spend two days.

Right now, I have weekends blocked out in my diary as ‘off’. There’s a red line through Saturday and Sunday in my calendar to remind me to not make to make plans for those weekends and to ensure I take some time out for myself, at least once a month.

They’re the weekends to have a proper break after an intense working week (chances are, it will happen) and my brain is a bit overwhelmed and my mind needs some recovery time. The weekends which come after having had a ton of weekday plans and I know that I’ll be due a social hangover. They’re the weekends where when I leave work on Friday, I know that the only in person interaction I’ll be having with other people is eye rolling in Morrison’s at the people who block the end of the aisles to have a chat (aka, the worst type of people), until Monday.

Weekends like this stop me from burning out. They keep my mind in check. I’m very, very aware of the triggers in my life that cause my head to spiral until I’m in a place I can’t get out of and extended periods of time without a mental break is a big one. This is primarily because if I’m always out, I lose control of the things that keep me grounded and feeling together at home, simply because I haven’t had enough time for both. No amount of fun, exciting, omg plans can compensate for coming home and feeling like I haven’t got my shit together, and not knowing quite what to do next.

Sometimes, you need a weekend of doing sweet fuck all. A weekend where you have time to do your life admin and your housework, but still have time for a lie in and to settle down mid afternoon to binge watch Netflix. A weekend where you can relax without feeling like there’s something else you can be doing.

This kind of weekend is really important to me as it’s time to reset. Taking time to switch off and have a weekend at your own pace rather than on a schedule is a necessary part of my life to keep my mental well-being in check.

So if I say I can’t make plans and you ask why, it could be that I’ve scheduled this time in. Please don’t be offended because you think I’m choosing to alternate between doing my washing and sitting on my sofa instead of seeing you. There is a bigger picture, I promise. And if you did see me that weekend? Trust me, if I need a mental health break, I’m the least fun to be around.

Do you take weekends out for yourself? Would you give it a go? Let me know in the comments.

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