How to be a good ‘crisis friend’

How to be a good ‘crisis friend’
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Adulthood is a weird one as it seems that no matter how old you get, when you’re in a crisis, your parents are still your go-to. I mean, I’m not sure which school of life my mum went to but she seems to be excellent in most emergency situations whereas I’d be more inclined to frantically Google something. There is a point though where you need to become the adultiest adult and step up when your friends are in need as a lot of the time, people live far enough away from their families that they can’t be there in an emergency. Or y’know, once the kids have flown the nest, the parents have taken the opportunity to go on every holiday they could never have afforded as a family of four.

Not everyone is a ‘crisis friend’, as some people are quite frankly shit in a crisis, but there are times where being there for someone is necessary whether you’re good at it or not. I’m talking break ups, grief, trips to A&E and every shitstorm in between where your friend needs someone to be there for them.

It seems to be human nature to ‘not want to put anyone out’ and that means that judging a situation is really important. Sometimes, people will just want to sit by themselves and cry about the bad thing that’s happened and that is absolutely fine, but other times, they may well want someone to pop round to check in on them but don’t want to bother people. When offering yourself up for hugs and passing them tissues, gently call out the situation and ask if they’re saying it because they truly want to be alone or if they would like some company. Remind them that it’s what friends are for and that you wouldn’t be offering if you didn’t mean it.

That leads onto my other point of how to be a great friend in a crisis. When you say that you can be there, you need to not only be willing to drop everything to be there, but to push for them to accept your support if you think they need it. Essentially, don’t promise and then not deliver. In some instances, this might mean bailing on other plans but at this point it’s when you need to ask yourself ‘is how much I love my friend in need more important than my plans’ and if they answer is yes, then you know the right thing to do.

Sometimes, all it takes is a phonecall. And I actually mean a phonecall, not just dropping someone a message. Ringing to check in and taking time to have a conversation is important as it shows that you’re engaged with their circumstances and know they’re having a tough time. It’s an opportunity to talk and in some instances will be enough to calm someone down.

Being a ‘crisis friend’ and working out who your own ‘crisis friends’ are, sadly, something that usually only comes out of a crisis but knowing how to step up, be the practical one in a situation and do the grown up thing is really important when one of your besties is in a time of need.

Are you a good crisis friend? Let me know in the comments.

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