An open letter to Dave Hon, the man who ‘won’t date a feminist’

Dave Hon Why I won't date a feminist
feminism dictionary definnition

Dear Dave,

I read your article today with great interest as to why you won’t date a feminist, because as a feminist myself, I assumed it would be fairly interesting. And interesting it was. I don't even mind sharing a link to it on my blog as I know that those who read it are educated enough to see it for what it truly is.

The title, 'Why I'll never date a feminist' baffled me a tad as to me it implies you want to date a woman who isn’t a feminist. This means if your dream woman was to appear on Plenty of Fish she’d have a bio with the following:

-   I work as (insert profession here) and despite doing the same job as my male colleagues, they get paid more. But you know what? I’m fine with that.
-   Voting? That’s a man’s job. I mean, why did they even bother campaigning for women to have a say?
-   Women being raped? Not a massive issue. I mean, it’s sad but that’s just how men are, aren’t they.

Right? I bet you’d read that bio and think ‘ooft, what a catch’.

Your article was full of a lot of opinions and it’s clear to me that you’re in denial about a fair few things.

The gender pay gap for example? Well, official figures have been released on a number of occasions to show that in many industries, there is a gender pay gap. Unless you’d like to tap up the HRs for various guilty companies and ask for pay slips, you’ll have to take the word for it of official reports, but it’s pretty damn clear that there’s a pretty sizable issue there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that gender will affect the career progression for women who choose to have children (I think we’d rather women took time off to give birth rather than did it on their desks) but when a man and a woman are doing the same work, have the same job title and are equally as qualified? Whether they have balls or a vagina, the job is being done and that requires equal merit and the same salary.

Oh and you’re denying that rape culture on campuses is a thing? Please go explain that to convicted rapist Brock Turner’s victim. You know Brock Turner, right? The student who forced himself on an unconscious woman behind a bin? Actually, you’re the kind of person who probably knows him as the ‘Stanford swimmer’ rather than the ‘convicted rapist'. That was rape. On a college campus. And people genuinely tried to justify his actions, despite being caught in the act. I think we can both agree that rape culture is a massive issue on campus.

Also, hate to break it to you, but all feminists don’t hate men. Feminists want equality, not superiority. Things like the right to vote, for marital rape to be illegal, to be paid the same as male counterparts. I don’t think those rights are particularly ‘out there’, are they? I’d say they’re pretty damn reasonable in all honesty. Wanting those rights doesn’t mean that feminists hate men. In fact, one hell of a lot of men agree with those principles and thus are feminists themselves. And we definitely don’t hate those men.

When it comes to guys like you Dave, I can see why women are more loyal to their genders than they are to you. It’s no surprise, is it really? Most women know that when they date a man that his willy often will give him rights they don’t have. In this society, it’s sad but a true fact. It's here when attitudes come into play that problems might arise. The issue comes (no pun intended), when you, Dave, know this to be true but don’t have a problem with it. You know that your little man will get you further in life, and you are fine about it.

And this, Dave, is why women are knocking you back. In all honesty, I don’t think you’re going to have any issues with feminists throwing themselves at you as quite frankly, you come across as relatively misogynistic and quite frankly, not the type of man a girl would want take home to their mum.

Warmest regards (as it’s more than likely my regards will keep you warmer at night than your non-existent girlfriend will),



  1. Even though I agree with equality of the sexes, I really loathe "feminism".

    Feminism is NOT about equality as it only focuses on making things "equal" for females. It is sexist in its very name. Feminists seem to be stuck in a time warp or something - in all the jobs I have worked, there has never been a female rate of pay and a male rate of pay! The last election I remember that women were voting too... And feminists love to be feminist only when it suits them. There are lots of perks to being female over male. And men can be date raped with drugs as much as women. People who rape are criminals and criminals do lots of horrible things to both men and women.

    If you really cared about gender equality you should be calling yourself an equalist. And that is why feminism annoys an equalist, because if I had the decision to employ either a man or a woman. The decision would be made on who was best qualified, regardless of if there were 10% of women already working there or 90%. If you want more women in science, do a science degree - there are no universities or laboratories that are going to stop you because you "have a vagina"! Likewise for history, politics or anything else - although on the latter it helps if you come from an Oxbridge/public school background.

    Please abandon feminism if you really believe in equality! And work for both sexes in harmony not just one - because that doesn't make sense otherwise.

    There, that's my rant over, thank god! Warmest regards and all that!

    1. Feminism gave women the vote and whilst women in the UK may have that right, around the world that is sadly not the case. However, I agree, crimes are committed against both men and women and the lack of support for sexual violence towards men especially is lacking - something which needs addressing whether it's feminists, equalists or anyone inbetween who are campaigning for it!

      It is also unfortunate that the gender pay gap is a big problem in many industries, primarily higher up the pay grade and there are numerous cases of this which have been widely publicised - not something which I have experienced directly but it is something I know to be true. However, I do agree that recruitment should always be based on who is more qualified for the job and it saddens me that some companies seem to want to hit a diversity quota, which in itself is discrimination! There are industries which are both male and female dominated and feminism works to close that gap - I myself know of several organisations working towards this in the digital industry. There are definitely stereotypes which need breaking down, for both men AND women.

      I believe in equality and that is why I'm a feminist - not an extreme feminist as they, I absolutely agree, do take it too far - and it's a belief I won't give up. However, I have all respect for your beliefs in equality and I really appreciate the time you have taken to read my posts and share your opinions as that's what I have always wanted my blog to be about - I don't expect anyone to agree with me which is why I always keep my comments open and without moderation so that everyone has the opportunity to share their thoughts. Thank you for your comment :)