Monday, 19 June 2017

First date conversation starters

First date conversation starters
green teapot pouring loose leaf tea


Those of you who know me in real life will probably already be aware that I don’t struggle to fill awkward silences, especially when I’m already a glass of Sauvignon Blanc in, so when it comes to first date conversations, it has to be going pretty damn badly for those pauses to crop up. Disclaimer, I’ve only been on one date that badly and dear Lord, it was dire.

At an event I attended recently, I was partnered with Jessica for some blogger brainstorming and as she’s happily married and has never done the single thing during the Tinder era, she was really curious to know what two strangers talk about on first dates. Usually, first dates aren’t really ‘blind dates’, as let’s face it, most of them come from an app of some sort nowadays, so you’ll know a little about them, but if you’re struggling to know what to say, or if it’s your first date in a while, here are a few of my go-tos.

The standard job interview questions
This sounds like it might be really dull, but if you’re getting the vibe that the person you’re with is passionate about their career, this is a pretty good starting point as you can ask them what kind of things they do, get an idea of the hours they work and that’s often important as you may have completely contrasting working days. It’s also a chance for you to tell them about what you do, what you’re passionate about and for me, let’s face it, it opens up a whole load of ‘so, do you actually tweet for a living’ conversations when you mention working in social media.

Where they’re from and where they’ve lived
The job chat can often lead to discussing whether you went to university, where that was and naturally leads onto your home towns. I’m lucky in that I’m from York and it’s somewhere most northerners at least have been to on a school trip/weekend away/stag party and it’s somewhere everyone absolutely loves.

Family and friends
This is one to keep fairly top line as you don’t want to find out the ins and outs of someone’s family dramas, but it’s chance to discuss whether either of you have brothers and sisters, what they do and if you’re close to them.

A brief dating background
Well, it’s good to clarify that you’re not the rebound gal, right? I’ve found that the best dates I go on tend to include a brief rundown of which apps you’ve found to be the most successful (I discovered the app Happn on a first date), which ones have the most oddballs and it’s a chance to share hilarious tales and horror stories. As you may have guessed already, I have a list as long as my arm of those stories.

How they spend their spare time
Chatting dates can easily lead onto date locations and activities (if you’re into that kind of thing, which I definitely am not), and then you get an idea of whether they go out a lot, if so, where, and if not, what do they do in their spare time. For me, this is usually a chance to chat about the opportunities I’ve had through my blog, but for others it might be discussing what gym you go to, sports you’re into, or a creative project you do in your spare time. If you do none of the above and simply fill your time going for dinner and drinks every week, tell them that as it makes you look sociable.

More significant social stuff
Once you’ve gathered how they fill the average weekend, you can move onto more notable social events like gigs, shows, day trips to cities and holidays. Now is your chance to share your musical taste, preferably in a ‘best bits’ montage style, as I don’t think I’d be impressing anyone with the time I went to see the Backstreet Boys reunion tour, plus see if you have a similar sense of humour when it comes to comedians.



So, they’re my top conversation starters for a first date and what you can get out of them. I love finding things out about people so for me, I see dates as an opportunity to learn something new about someone and hopefully they’ll come away feeling like they’ve gotten something out of it to – even if they think I’m far too chatty and become a bad date that they discuss on future good dates! Let me know what you think in the comments.
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