Wednesday, 7 September 2016

What actually happens when girls get together

pornstar martini and pink plant


I’m pretty sure what women talk about when they get together for a catch up and suddenly 5 hours has passed by is one of the seven wonders of the world, right? It’s definitely harder to explain than how the pyramids came about anyway... Here’s a little insight into what we talk about.

1. Boobs. Whether it’s bra issues, feeling like we’ll knock ourselves out if we go to the gym (clearly not an issue for me) or how boys treat them, we talk about boobs probably more than boys do.

2. Clothes. Primarily the clothes we can’t fit into but now we’ve hit our mid 20s probably don’t actually want to fit into. Hot pants are fine if you have the squat booty of a Victoria’s Secret model but a lot of girls prefer a bit more of a crotch when it comes to shorts. Who knew.

3. Boys. Whether it’s currents, potentials or previous’, we discuss men a lot. We discuss what they say, we discuss what they send us on Snapchat and we discuss everything inbetween.

4. Sex. Whether it’s a graphic discussion regarding technique or the merits of having a guy living a far enough distance away that allows you time to shave your legs when you’re 100% that they’re en route, it’s discussed in detail. #SorryNotSorry

5. Our weight. Yes it’s a cliché and yes it does happen. We discuss hellish gym classes, getting organised with meal prep and the fact that we’re actually coming to terms with being happy in life knowing we’ll never be a size 8.

6. Work. Not the most exciting of topics, but it still gets covered. NEXT.

7. Mutual friends. We love talking about what our friends are up to and contrary to popular belief that all girls do is bitch, we actually spend a lot of time going ‘she really bloody deserves it’. Bitching is so highschool.

8. Topical stuff. When I’m involved, my topical conversations go as far as Bake Off and Naked Attraction. I never knew there could be so many variations of a) jaffa cakes and b) vaginas.

9. The future. It’s scary shit but we all have a vague life plan that comes out when we’re drunk of where we want to be in 10 years rather than what is realistic. Drunk Lizi wants to be living the YOLO life in London with a load of money that nobody has mentioned actually earning. Sober Lizi quite fancies sticking about up north and continuing life as a social media guru. Hopefully I’ll be somewhere in between.

10. Being hungry. Is it just me who always ends up with food on a girls night out? I’m not down with this drinking over eating situation, especially straight from work, so if someone could just dial me a Dominos, that would be amaze.


So, that’s a little insight into a girls’ night, are any guys going to comment and own up to what they talk about?
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