Sunday, 20 September 2015

The Hangover Checklist

Hangover Checklist


After going out last night and spending most of my evening being ripped into for being a blogger (and explaining that I’m not quite the next Zoella), I thought I’d write a blog post about hangover feels. Partly because I got a lot of ‘why won’t you blog about this night out’ and partly because right now, I’m hungover to high hell and haven’t even slept. Yay for me.

But yeah, here’s a list of things every hungover person does.

1. Well that escalated quickly. That whole ‘yeah, I’ll probably stop drinking around 10 and be home by midnight’ mentality? Disappeared at the first jagerbomb.

2. Questioning why the hell you ever drank anything in the first place. Nothing is worth feeling like this is it?

3. Downing a pint of water the moment you open your eyes. As rehydration is key.

4. Feeling sick from water bloat. It was so cool and refreshing and now you look like you’ve swallowed a football.

5. Recounting your drunk food choices and praising the lord for the carbs which worked miracles in your tummy whilst you slept.

6. Calculating how many hours of sleep you’ve had. It can’t just be me who has a 4 hour threshold can it? More than 4 hours and I’m a functioning member of society, any less, and I’m a write off.

7. Realising being able to drive legally again is at least 6 hours away and resigning yourself to Netflix in bed for the day anyway.

8. Doing the bag check. Did you come home with everything you went out with? Is your phone screen still intact? Fantastic.

9. The social scroll. Just a quick check to make sure you didn’t tweet any abuse or upload any accidental photos.

10. Checking your phone. Who did you ring/text/whatsapp? Nobody? Or did drunk you delete the evidence? No evidence means it didn’t happen.

11. That sinking feeling when you find a receipt. What did you buy? Was the receipt actually from last night or was it just living in your clutch bag? God damn £10 minimum card spends when all you wanted was one drink.

12. The check for injuries. Whether it’s blistered feet, bruises from stupid girls standing on you in their stupid stilettos, or that ache you get after landing on your arse whilst slut dropping (it’s happened to the best of us), there’s bound to be something.

13. The debrief. Because you just need to check that your memory isn’t playing tricks on you and you definitely didn’t do anything stupid.

14. Hangover food. Did drunk you have your back and leave you some leftover takeaway or are you going to have to brave the fridge and make yourself something?

15. The hangover disappearing after you’ve eaten, had another nap and all you have is the great (if no blurry) memories of the night before. Winner.


So, that’s my hangover checklist, what’s on yours?
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