Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Solving one of life’s greatest mysteries – why girls go to the toilet in pairs.

Why girls go to the toilet in pairs
It’s one of those things that confuses men no end, why women insist on having a buddy whilst going to the loo whilst on a night out. It’s pretty clear that there’s nothing particularly exciting about a ladies loo that makes it more of a challenge to go solo than it is for blokes (so I’m told, I can’t say I frequent the gents). If anything, the number of photos taken by women in nightclub toilets show that there isn’t anything out of the ordinary going on, so why is a toilet buddy necessary? Here’s my list of XX reasons why women go to the toilet in pairs.

1. The main reason is not that women are scared that without their BFF they’ll get eaten by the toilet monster, it’s that who knows where your mates will be when you get back. Of course, this is dependent on the size of the place and the type of friends you have – I’m lucky that the type of people I usually end up out with aren’t total dicks, but I have a friend who was on a night out with two girls who left the club and went home without her whilst she was in the loo. Safety is definitely in numbers, especially if you don’t know people that well.

2. It’s a photo opportunity. Vain, but true. You can do a full on shoot in a club toilet without looking vain as other girls fully appreciate what you’re doing. Making your best mate take a full length photo of you on a dancefloor, then making her take another, and then one with your other friend, then one of you all together taken by a stranger – it’s not the time or the place.

3. You make friends in the toilets. Apparently this is not something blokes ever do, but women? We chat in the queue, we discuss where we’ve been already, what drinks offers are on and where we bought our outfits. Anyone who says that girls are always bitchy and nasty should really see what drunk girls are like when there are 6 of them waiting for the one cubicle that has toilet roll.

4. Sometimes, you need to cubicle share. Whether it’s because your best mate is hammered and needs holding upright or because one of you is wearing a playsuit that needs doing up, having your friend there, makes it all that bit easier. Personally, I don’t feel the need to watch my friend having a wee, but I’m always one to wait outside the cubicle ready to zip them back up.

5. Occasionally (and by occasionally, I mean pretty much every time), you need to bitch. Whether you’ve just spotted your ex, you’ve spotted the girl who used to bully you at school or if someone’s generally acting like a twat, you need a toilet buddy to let off some steam, so you can go back and enjoy yourself.

6.  Tactics. If you’re out to pull, wingwoman or just get chatting to new people, these tend to be pretty well thought out plans. You may think it’s just lads that embellish their jobs or life stories to woo girls, when actually, we do it too. Or in my case, I have a friend that does it for a laugh and we need briefing in. Please note, this isn’t a great idea if you plan to see someone again – my friend told a lad she was a brain surgeon, he fell hook line and sinker, which was great until he asked her how work was going when they met up at a later date.

7. Wardrobe malfunctions. We’re talking blisters that need plasters, laddered tights and spilt drinks. It’s amazing what you can achieve with so little resources and some drunken creativity.

8. You don’t want to stop chatting. Needing a wee doesn’t need to break up a heart to heart, especially when some places have toilets with double cubicles.

9. When Hermione went to the bathroom by herself she got attacked by a troll. Moaning Murtle went by herself and she died. Who really wants to take that risk?



So what do you think? Do you drag your friends with you or do you take on the trolls/toilet monsters and go it alone? 
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1 comment

  1. Haha! I enjoyed this blog post and I fully appreciate number 9. It's just not worth the risk!! xx

    ReplyDelete

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